The
GREEN DUDE
A
Kindness Kids Adventure
by
Robert Alan Silverstein
(not yet illustrated)
Chapter:
1 | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5 |
I
was almost looking forward to the Fifth Grade. That
is, until the new foreign exchange student showed
up at my house the day before school started. The
minute I laid eyes on him, I knew this year was
going to be strange. He was just so different from
your typical fifth grader that I knew this kid was
going to turn the school upside down. You'll see
what I mean.
That day I was waiting for him all morning out on
the front lawn. Mom had asked me to "keep an eye
out for Dude's bus."
Hello. Now, who names their kid Dude? I had asked
my Dad that very question when I first learned that
a foreign exchange student would be staying at our
house that year.
"Junior,
Dude probably means something else in his country,"
Dad had said. "You know you shouldn't judge a book
by its cover!"
Let me tell you, this was one case where the cover
fit the book perfectly! But I'm getting ahead of
myself.
Anyway, so the day before school, I was standing
out on the front lawn, bored out of my mind as I
tossed a baseball up into the air for the thousandth
time, when all of a sudden, I saw something bright
in the sky. It kept getting closer and closer.
"Wouldn't
it be cool if it were a spaceship?" I laughed, absolutely
sure that nothing exciting like that could ever
happen to me. But sure enough, that's exactly what
it was!
The spaceship stopped about a hundred yards above
the tops of the trees and then a door slid open.
My eyes were glued to it and I couldn't speak a
word.
Something stepped out of the spaceship door and
began zig-zagging down through the sky right towards
my house. I had this crazy thought that it looked
like a kid riding a skateboard through the air.
As he got closer I saw that it was! The kid did
some awesome loops and turns and spins up above
the trees and then screeched right towards me. I
jumped back and fell into the bushes.
Looking up through the branches, I saw a kid hovering
in the air about three feet above the ground on
his skateboard. He looked like a typical kid my
age, with shorts and tee-shirt and sneakers, and
a cap sitting backwards on his head. The only difference
was that he was green. This kid was an alien!
The green alien-kid hopped down onto the grass and
pulled the skateboard out of the air. He scrunched
it up between his hands until it was no bigger than
a dime, and then he stuck it in his pocket. "Like,
Sweet! Totally radical air space!" he laughed.
A bug was crawling on my nose and though I tried
my best not to, I sneezed.
The alien looked around with a worried expression
on his green face. Then he glanced down and saw
me in the bushes.
"Uh...
Peace, Dude?" I stuttered. I mean, what else do
you say to an alien?
The alien-kid looked at me nervously. "Uh...Er...!
Uh, hi. Like, uh, Peace, Man." He held up a peace
sign and flashed me a quivering smile. "Like, uh,
you didn't just, um, catch me on my, you know, board,
did you?" he asked.
"Uh,
yeah..." I swallowed.
The alien turned a paler-shade of green. "Oh, Man!
Bummer, Man! I, um, er, I'm going to like, you know,
get in so much trouble now, man. Like I... I can,
um, totally explain it... like..."
I didn't say anything. I couldn't, even if I'd been
able to understand anything he'd just said.
"You
see, I ... Hey, you're like, Johnny, um, Chronicles,
right?" he asked. I could see he was trying to change
the subject to throw me off. But I was already so
thrown off I just lay there with my mouth open.
At that moment I wished with all my heart I wasn't
Junior Chronicles. Maybe if I denied it, he'd go
away.
The alien looked up at the number "23" on the front
porch of our house and then down the street to the
"Oak Lane" street sign. He nodded his head, letting
me know that he knew he was at the right place.
Drats!
"Uh..."
was about all I was able to say.
"Like,
look Johnny, I've, you know, had, um, a like totally
sorta, you know, awesomely long trip... Like I'd
really like to, um, well, like put my bag down..."
the alien said, pointing to the glowing backpack
on his back. "Like, man, can you like, you know,
like give me a hand? This thing is so like, you
know, so like totally heavy!"
"Uh,
okay... I stammered and struggled to my feet to
help him swing the backpack off his shoulder.
"WHOA!"
I gasped as the glowing backpack pulled me off the
ground. Before I knew what had happened I was floating
three feet in the air. Without thinking very clearly
I let go of the bag and crashed to ground. Dirt
went flying everywhere as I plunked down on my stomach.
I lifted my face out of the dirt and saw the backpack
float down to Dude's outstretched hand. "Hey, like,
um, well, thanks Man!" he said.
Just then the door swung open and Mom came out and
looked at me lying face down in the dirt behind
the bushes. "Junior, what are you doing in there...
you're filthy! Oh, you must be Dude," she said,
seeing the alien kid standing there. She was beaming
a welcome smile. "You're here. I didn't hear the
bus go by at all. Come on in, Dude, you must be
tired from your long trip."
Mom didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary
about this "Dude." Like his green color! Dude looked
back at me nervously. "Please don't say anything
about my coming in a spaceship," his look seemed
to say. It was almost like he was talking. But it
made sense, unlike the words that came out when
he opened his mouth. This alien was invading my
head!
I wanted to tell my Mom. I wanted to tell everyone
that an alien had landed in my yard. Probably to
take over the planet! But nothing came out of my
mouth. I followed them both inside with my jaw still
hanging silently open.
Chapter
2
You the Man, Dude!
I'm
really not the jealous type. Honest. But when Dude
arrived, well, I suddenly found myself feeling like
I was the most jealous person in the world. The
jealousy monster just kept growing and growing.
It really took a big bite when Muffy, our loving
family cat, turned against me. She'd been part
of the family practically since I was born. She's
always loved me the best. But when Dude walked
through the door, she greeted him with a wet welcome
lick right on his green face.
He
laughed, "Whoa! Awesome, like a canine-kinda critter-type-thingy.
You like, um, totally rock!"
Not
only couldn't the guy speak, but he couldn't even
tell the difference between a dog and a cat! But
get this -- he rubbed her head and looked into
her eyes, and he must have put some wicked spell
on her, because I blinked and although she still
looked to me like our darling kitty, Muffy, she
started acting exactly like a dog does. And by
the way everyone treated her, I knew they all
saw her as a dog, and they acted like she'd always
been that way! And from that moment on, Muffy
followed Dude everywhere. She wouldn't even come
to me when I offered her a kitty treat. Instead
she just dog-growled at me like I was a complete
stranger. Or even worse, an alien!
I
was even jealous about my sister, Ellie's, reaction.
Ellie is "much too mature" for all my friends,
even though she's only a year-and-a-half older
than me. But that night at dinner she sat there
all google-eyed staring at Dude. She just had
to "Ahhh!" and "Oohh..." or laugh as if everything
he said was just the most surprising, intelligent
or funniest thing she'd ever heard. Hello!!!?
Even
Mom and Dad seemed to hang on his every word.
They couldn't stop asking him questions. They,
too, seemed so impressed with the things he said.
They acted like he knew more about everything
than they did. I couldn't believe it! I mean the
guy couldn't even form a complete sentence.
"This
like, you know, food-type stuff is SO totally,
um, awesome, Mrs. C..." or "Way to like um, go,
Mr. C, that thing you do, at, you know your work-activity-kind-of-thing.
It, um, totally, you know, rocks."
The things I heard come out of his mouth must
have been totally different from the words everyone
else heard, because he had them all completely
captivated.
"Pass
the corn, please," I grumbled for the tenth time
that night at dinner. But no one even heard me.
"Like um, please, you know, like pass the totally
awesome corn-type-maze-thingy..." I tried. Nothing!
I seemed to be invisible now that Dude had arrived.
I couldn't sleep at all that night. It wasn't
because I was nervous about starting the Fifth
Grade the next morning, either. It was because
I kept looking over through the darkness at Dude
fast asleep on the other side of MY room. He made
this little snoring sound that didn't sound like
any snoring I'd ever heard. It was more like the
buzzing of a flying saucer, if you ask me. As
if he were sending out a signal, calling any spaceships
that might happen to be in the area. And the glowing
green color coming from his bed didn't help very
much, either.
When I finally did drift off to sleep, all I could
dream about were aliens coming down to take over
the planet, all led by Dude himself, of course.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a start,
but Dude was still sleeping peacefully. "That's
it," I promised myself. "I'm going to find out
what he's up to tomorrow morning - even if he
turns me into toast ... space toast!"
I was so tired I must have turned off my alarm
clock without realizing it, because the next thing
I knew, Mom was calling from downstairs, "Junior,
aren't you up yet?"
I had barely enough time to throw some clothes
on and wash my face before Mom yelled again, "Junior,
you're going to miss the bus!"
Dude apparently had gotten up early and made breakfast
for the family. At least that's what Mom insisted
as I rubbed the crust out of my eyes and stared
at the toast on my plate. It was green and glowing.
And it was buttered with something slimy that
kept bubbling up and bursting in gassy clouds
of grey smoke.
"Junior,
you eat that toast!" Mom demanded.
"But,
Mom!" I protested. Dude must have heard me thinking
last night, I thought as I stared at the toxic
toast. This must be some kind of radioactive space
toast - and Dude was trying to get rid of me by
nukeing me!
"John
George Chronicles, you eat that toast now!"
I closed my eyes and whispered, "so long world,"
before I took a bite. Hmm. It was good. It was
great. I gobbled it down, green slime and all.
"Now
don't forget, honey," Mom said as I licked that
delicious gook off my lips and grabbed my book
bag, "introduce Dude to your friends. It'll be
hard for him to be in a strange place and not
know anyone."
Yeah, right. If she only knew. Dude was going
to be just fine. It was going to be me who'd be
the outcast alien. That day was definitely the
worst day of my life. I hadn't seen a lot of my
friends since summer had started, and I was looking
forward to hanging out with them again. But for
some reason, no one seemed that interested in
seeing me. Not even my best friend, Artie Taylor.
"Oh, hi, Johnny. Hey, is that Dude? Wow, he is
so cool! Introduce me, okay?"
Everyone
just had to talk to Dude. And man, did he "like
talk and um, talk." Everyone thought he was just
the coolest kid ever. It seemed to me that every
time he said anything his words seemed even more
ridiculous than the last time he opened his mouth.
But somehow what everyone else heard must have
been something completely different.
Before the day was over, Dude was surely the most
popular kid in the school; I was Mr. Invisible.
Even the bus driver was so busy talking to Dude
when he got on the bus to go home that she closed
the door right in my face. Of course, Dude just
had to show off by coming to my rescue. "Like,
whoa um, female-uh-bus-vehicle, you know, manipulator-driver-type
person, your um door-closey-thingy is stuck on
that you know, Johnny-kid's um, well, outer-garment-shirty-thing..."
That's what I heard through the closed bus door.
But what everyone else must have heard to draw
a round of applause from the entire bus, well,
I have no idea. All I know is that I felt so embarrassed
walking down the aisle when she finally opened
the door again. Everyone stared at me, as if the
bus driver's blindness had been my fault!
As I climbed up the steps onto the bus, I saw
that everyone was fighting over who would sit
next to Dude. Get this - Dude had the gall to
ask me to sit with him. Like he really meant it.
He just wanted everyone to be jealous and mad
at me. I wished I could disappear, and I slunk
down the aisle to sit alone in the last seat on
the bus. The one all the cool kids used to sit
in, back in the old days before they all moved
up front to sit near Dude.
That's how it was for weeks. Dude just got more
and more popular, even though his sentences got
more and more incoherent. He was voted Fifth Grade
Class President. Everyone dropped out of the race
when he announced that he was running. He won
257 votes to 1. (Guess who wrote in the one vote
for E.T. - there was no way I was going to vote
for Dude, and I guess I was hoping that someone
might get the hint and phone Dude home!)
Oh, and get this. Dude nominated ME for Vice President,
knowing full well that EVERY popular kid was going
to run against me to be Dude's running mate. I
quickly withdrew my name to avoid being even more
completely humiliated than I already was. But
it was too late. Everyone laughed at me when they
passed me in the hall. "Little baby dropped out
of the race ... you're not Vice President material,
you're just Very Pathetic... Junior VP... hah!"
"Oooh,
that Dude! I just knew that everything Dude did
was all part of some secret alien plot to destroy
me, and the rest of the world, too. I was absolutely
sure that he had put a spell on everyone and he
was going to take over the whole planet, or something
like that. I wanted to tell him I knew all about
his evil plans, but he was always so busy, we
never had a spare second to talk about it. I kept
trying every night when the lights were off before
we drifted off to sleep, but the second he hit
the pillow he was out cold, and that eerie snoring
started. Needless to say, I got very little sleep
each night. I'm sure that's why he snored that
way - to keep me up!
I wanted to tell everyone that he was tricking
them all, but they seemed so happy around him,
I felt guilty even thinking about bursting their
bubbles. Besides, whenever there seemed to be
a chance to tell someone that he was an alien,
I felt too wiped out and tired to say anything.
Maybe he had put a spell on me, too? Probably
it was just the lack of sleep, though. There's
no way that DUDE could put a spell on me! I was
on to his tricks. But then, I was addicted to
his space toast -- I couldn't seem to start my
day without it. Maybe he was drugging me with
that slimy green delicious gooky stuff.
This is how it went, day in and day out, until
one night I had this strange dream. After that,
everything was completely different.
Chapter
3
Wassup, Dude?
It
was the strangest nightmare, let me tell you. But
the weirdest thing about it was that it seemed more
real than any dream I'd ever dreamed before!
I dreamed I saw these strange little creatures.
They were all different colors. Some were red or
green or blue or yellow, but there were lots of
them and they were slimy with a dingy glow. And
they were slithering in through my open bedroom
window! I watched in horror as they slopped across
the floor. It was so gross! Not only were they disgustingly
slimy, but after every few feet of slithering they
seemed to make squishy gassy-sounds, which left
puffy grey clouds floating in the air. It wasn't
long before I had to hold my nose - they smelled
even worse than they looked. Fortunately the stinky-slimeys
seemed to be heading to the other side of the room.
Straight for Dude's bed!
He went on snoring, in the same creepy way he would
be doing outside the dream, completely unaware of
anything. The smelly-blobs slid up the side of his
bed and slipped under his covers. "Oh, Man!" I gasped.
"Don't aliens smell anything - how can he sleep
with that awful smell all around him!"
The next thing I knew the slimers were slithering
back down the side of Dude's bed and across the
floor towards the window. That's when I noticed
they were carrying his watch. They were so tiny
that it took about fifty of them to carry it.
I don't know why (maybe it's because in dreams you
can have more courage than you do in real life),
but I jumped up, ran across the room and slammed
the window closed.
The dingy colored slimy blobs stopped. Then they
started bouncing up and down angrily, squeaking
at me and making more of those smelly gaseous-sounds.
I backed away slightly as they slimed past me and
slid under my bedroom door. The cloud of stench
remained behind. I dashed across the room and held
my nose as tight as I could. I opened the door with
my free hand and tiptoed after them into the hallway.
I knew every creak on the stairs so I knew I wouldn't
wake everyone in the house, but that smell was so
bad I was afraid it was going to wake everyone,
even outside of the dream.
The dull glow of lights trickled down the stairs,
but I was in hot pursuit. It was gross squishing
in their slimy trail with my bare feet, but I made
myself go as fast as I could. They squirmed across
the kitchen and under the back door, but I was right
behind them, gasping and gagging for air. I chased
them down the porch steps, and just as they wriggled
onto the grass, I grabbed Dude's watch and yanked
it away from them.
That's when they got really mad. They all turned
at once and started to grow bigger and greyer and
smellier. Then one, a dingy, gooshy yellow one,
leaped up and slimed me.
"Eh-oooh!"
It oozed all over me. I could feel it seeping through
my skin. Suddenly I felt scared and I knew that
yellow slime was making me feel this way. It must
have oozed into my blood and was gunking up my emotions
with yellow-bellied fear. I ran backwards and hid
behind a tree, but they were after me.
The squeaky, gassy, exploding sounds they made got
even louder. A festering red slimer leaped at me,
and it oozed over my hair and down my back. As it
seeped through my skin, the red ooze made me feel
angry and mad.
I stomped my feet and gritted my teeth at the blobs
that were coming closer. But before I could do anything
about my anger, a bloated blue blob leaped at me.
Its slime made me feel helpless and hopeless. I
backed up against the backyard fence. They got closer
and closer.
Then suddenly I saw Dude standing behind them. Not
just Dude, but a whole bunch of kids, too. Like
ten of them. Human kids, not aliens. At least I
hoped they weren't aliens.
Dude looked at me and then he whispered to the other
kids who were all whispering to each other. And
then they all stared at the slimy creatures. "Uh,
like, Yo, um, er, chill, Man," Dude said softly
to me. "Like um, well, like um, don't be, you know,
like afraid. I, um, er, called some, er, like, friends.
These are, the, um, er, Kindness Kids…"
I wasn't exactly sure how this small army of kids
was going to save me from the slimers, but I suddenly
felt calmer and less afraid. Maybe Dude had passed
out some totally lethal space weapons and they were
all going to blast those blobs to smithereens. I
just knew they were going to do something totally
awesome. I could feel it.
Dude took his hands out of his pockets slowly. "Here
it comes!" I thought. "Slimers, prepare to be blasted!"
But his hands were empty. "Like, um, well, um, this
is like uh, Sunanda," he said pointing to one of
the kids. "And um, er like this is Ahmed, and er…uh…"
Oh my gosh. I was going to be totally slimerated
before he'd be halfway through introducing everyone.
Luckily, one of the girls, Ling, I'd find out later,
whispered into his ear, and he nodded. Then one
of the other kids, José, stepped forward. "Peace,"
he said very softly and calmly.
"Kindness,"
Ling sang, stepping beside him.
"Love,"
Johnny added, slowly and comfortingly.
The slimy creatures slowed down and stopped in their
tracks, as if they were being massaged with a relaxing
back rub. I stared at them and looked back at Dude
and the kids.
They all continued to speak to the creatures in
calming voices, reminding the slimers how much they
missed their families and friends, and urged them
to go back home.
Dude spoke to the slimers too, in that painfully
awful way of speaking I just wasn't ever going to
get used to. Even his words seemed to calm them
down.
The weird thing was that I could actually see all
of the words they all spoke floating in the air.
Actually, at the time, it didn't seem that strange
to see words floating by. You sort of expect weird
things like that to happen in dreams. The words
were like sweet little glowing lights. As they floated
across the yard, the soft glows wrapped around the
slimy blobs, making them softer and more delicate
looking. The blobs got lighter and more transparent
and they started to float. They got lighter still,
until they just drifted up into the night sky. One
by one they drifted out of view and disappeared
with a tiny, peaceful little "swish" sound.
A stray glowing word wrapped around me as I watched,
and I suddenly felt different. I felt warm and fuzzy.
I felt light and happy. I felt good. I wanted to
dance. (And if you knew me, you'd know that I would
never, ever under any circumstances even attempt
to dance. So I must have been feeling really
good!)
More and more of the warm lights wrapped around
me, and I noticed I was floating up into the tree
branches. I looked down at Dude and The Kindness
Kids. They were all smiling. All the creepy blobs
were gone, and I felt like I didn't have a care
in the world.
Then all of a sudden the backdoor slammed open.
Looking down I saw Ellie in her pajamas, rubbing
her eyes as she looked up at me. "Oh my gosh, Junior,
you're floating in the air!"
Then she saw the Kindness Kids. "What are all these
kids doing…" she started to say but when she saw
Dude her mouth fell open and her face turned pale
as a ghost. "Junior, it's an alien!" she gasped,
unable to move.
Dude turned to me. "Um, well, Yikes, like, um, er,
that is, uh, Man, quick, you gotta, you know, I
mean, like toss me the syncronomoter-watchy-kinda
thingy, like, um, you know, fastish like, Man!"
Instinctively (because it sure wasn't in response
to what he said - I had no idea what he'd said!),
I dropped the watch down to him. Meanwhile, I floated
back down to the ground. Dude quickly put the watch
on and whispered, "It's okay, Ellie. Everything
will be alright..."
As Dude said those words, I couldn't help noticing
that they made sense. At the same time I also noticed
that for some reason I was squinting and holding
my head sideways. And for some reason I was holding
one of my feet up off the ground, too. I stood there
watching the gentle glow of his words as they wrapped
around Ellie. She rubbed her eyes and then stared
back at Dude and me and The Kindness Kids. She rubbed
her eyes again and shook her head.
"Junior,
what are you and Dude and all these kids doing out
here?" she finally whispered in between a yawn and
a hiccup. "And why are you standing like that, Junior?
You look like a blind flamingo!"
Slowly, I lowered my foot and let my head return
to a more comfortable position.
I couldn't wait to hear how Dude would get us out
of this.
"Um,
well, like, well, we were like, you know, sort of
like, um, well, chasing away some well, bogus critters
that were out here, like you know, making um, well,
you know, like trouble," Dude said. "And, um, these,
er, uh, are like, um, my, er, um, friends…"
"Hmm..."
my sleeping brain whispered to me. Somehow it had
noticed the connection between the flamingo-like
position I had been standing in at the time when
what Dude said had made sense.
Then Dude introduced all of the Kindness Kids. Erin
and Maya, Johnny, José, and Ling, Sol, Ahmed, Jamal,
Michiko and Sunanda. They apparently were from all
around the world and they met each week IN cyberspace
for their Kindness Kids Team meeting.
Even in a dream that sounded really strange to me.
Wonderful, but definitely unbelievable.
For some reason though, Ellie didn't think so. Who
knows what she heard under Dude's spell! "That's
cool," she said, pretty matter-of-factly. "Do you
all want to come in for some hot chocolate or something?"
The Kids told us they had to get going. They had
just been about to end their meeting when Ahmed,
the Team's secretary, noticed Dude's urgent Instant
Message on his laptop. "We clicked the hyperlink
Dude included and were cyber-transported here…"
Ahmed said.
"Just
in time!" Michiko added.
"But
now we have to get back home," Erin sighed.
"Okay,
well, have a good trip, then," Ellie said to the
Kids.
Everyone hugged each other and then Ahmed typed
on his laptop, and whoosh… in another instant they
simply disappeared. All ten of them at once!
Ellie didn't even blink. She turned to Dude and
me and said, "You boys had better get inside. It's
late." She shivered. "And it's chilly." She turned
and went in through the door.
It was chilly. I had goosebumps all over! That's
when I realized this was no dream. I turned to Dude.
"What's going on, Dude?"
Dude sighed. "Like, I, you know, um, er, well, Man,
I... well..."
I squinted my eyes and turned my head to test out
my theory. "I, well, sorta, well..." It didn't work.
Maybe it needed the whole flamingo-package.
I raised my foot. "I guess I'd better tell you everything,"
Dude said perfectly understandably. I was right.
For some reason when I squinted and turned my head
just so, and raised one foot off the ground, I could
hear Dude the way everyone else must hear him.
"Come
on, we'd better get inside," Dude said in perfect
English. I hopped after him on one foot, my head
bent and squinting, just in case he had anything
more to say.
Chapter
4
We can work it out, Dude!
While
we sat on our beds in the dark, (me with one foot
slightly raised and squinting sideways across the
room) Dude told me the whole story. It was a doozy
of a story, let me tell you. . If I hadn't seen his
spaceship, or those glowing-globby creatures, or ten
kids who simply appeared, saved the day and then disappeared,
I never would have believed any of it, that's for
sure.
First he told me that the spaceship I had seen was
really only the Inter-galactic late-bus. It was
dropping him off at Earth for his assignment for
the after-school Kindness Kids Club, which he had
never really wanted to join in the first place,
but he had to, because he needed the extra credit.
I raised my leg up higher and squinted harder at
his green glow in the darkness, completely blown
away by everything he was saying. A million questions
raced through my head and I began blurting them
out, in no particular order.
"Is
there really life on other planets?" I whispered.
"Is there hope for Earth? Can you read people's
minds? Can you control the future? How did the Kindness
Kids get together IN Cyberspace? Could I ride a
hyperlink into Cyberspace, too? Am I going to pass
my Spanish test tomorrow? Why do I have to hold
my body in such an uncomfortable position to hear
you the way everybody else does? How come no one
can see that you're an alien when I can see it so
clearly... "
Dude blinked as he tried to keep up with my questions.
I finally stopped and he started with the last one,
because that's the only one he could remember.
"Like,
I'm really not sure why you can see me as I really
am, Johnny," he admitted. "No one else can see the
way I really look because of the Fit-In-ability
Shield produced by my watch. I know you've felt
that I've made everyone like me so much more than
you, and like I'm really sorry, but I had to turn
it up all the way. Or else they'd, like, you know,
see like you know, me, like, as if, you know, well..."
(My leg had gotten tired, so I had to rest it a
second.) "...the way I am. And I'm pretty pathetic.
I'm really, like you know, sorry you have to squint
and hold your leg in such a like you know, totally
like uncomfortable, you know position, to like hear
me the way you know, everyone else well, does."
Then he told me the whole sad story. About how he
was at the bottom of his class at school. About
how he had to sign up for the InterStellar Kindness
Kids Club for extra credit or he was going to "like
totally, um, you know, like flunk out of well, you
know, school." I wasn't sure which was worse - the
pain of maintaining the flamingo-position or listening
to Dude speak if I didn't hold that pose.
"And
because I'm like such a total screw-up, they gave
me the hardest and most totally impossible location
- Earth. But that's okay, because like Man I was
doing a whole lot better in English Class than I
was in my own, you know, language-thingy. I totally
flunked that, Man, but like in English I sort-of
well, squeaked by with a you know, C-- last semester!"
It was really hard keeping my leg up. I had to stand
at the side of the bed and hold on while I squinted
and tried to keep my leg raised high. But it was
worth the pain, so I didn't have to strain my brain
as much to hear what he was saying.
Dude started to get all teary-eyed. "But like, Man,
I'm really sorry I've made you hate me. I've tried
to include you all the time, but you like never
want to have anything to do with me. I know that's
because I've hurt your feelings and you're mad at
me..."
I suddenly felt so guilty for all the things I'd
thought about Dude. "Oh, no I'm not, Dude," I said
quickly, realizing how much I liked my alien friend.
Then I remembered those yucky little critters that
had stolen Dude's watch. Dude seemed to read my
mind. "Those are the meanie-kabeenies," he sighed.
"They're all over the Universe causing trouble."
"Uh
… I ... er ... uh ... the ... um ... the meanie-kabeenies?"
I stammered, sounding an awful lot like Dude.
"Yeah,
there's the red-angries, and the yellow-fraidies,
and the blue-bluezies and the grey-lazies." Dude
sighed. "There's all kinds of meanie-kabeenies."
"But
I've never seen them before!" I insisted.
"Well,
that's because you're dreaming now."
"Huh?"
Now I was completely confused. "I thought we decided
I was awake?"
"It's
complicated," Dude sighed. "You're sort of awake
and dreaming at the same time. Normally you can't
see the meanie-kabeenies. No one can really see
them. But they're all around, sliming people all
the time, just the same. They make kids and adults
do all kinds of things they really don't want to
do."
"Wow!"
It was all so strange, but it seemed to explain
why people could be happy and calm one second and
then completely irrational the next. "Well, how
did you stop those slimy meanie kabeenies?" I asked,
because he and The Kindness Kids sure did get rid
of the ones that were attacking me.
"Through
Kindness," Dude said matter-of-factly. "Whenever
someone's filled with anger or jealousy or fear
or all those other mixed-up meanie-kabeenie emotions,
you can steer them back to their senses by helping
them to be calm and peaceful. The Kindness Kids
taught me all about it when I first met them, one
time when I typed in the wrong URL and accidently
logged into one of their meetings. They showed me
how you can control all the meanie-kabeenies by
performing acts of kindness, and by saying kind
words. Peace and Love - they really are powerful
forces."
I'd seen how powerful they were with my own eyes.
"Yeah,
because you're dreaming you got to see what's happening
'behind the scenes' when you share kindness and
kind words. It's like an energy that calms and soothes
people."
I guess it was because I was dreaming that this
all sort of made sense.
"We'd
better get to sleep now, Johnny. Tomorrow's a big
day. A big cloud of slimers rained down over the
planet this evening, and tomorrow's going to be
tricky at school. We've got a lot of work to do
to get the world over this latest rash of meanie-kabeenies."
"We...?"
I asked.
"Sure!"
Dude exclaimed. "Like I, you know, well, like I
totally need your, um, well, help, pal."
I felt really honored and proud and needed. I fell
asleep with a smile on my face. It was still there
when I woke up and saw Dude stretching on his bed.
"Hey,
Dude," I called over, remembering to squint, tilt
my head, and raise my foot up.
"Good
morning, Johnny," Dude yawned.
"Dude,
was it real last night?"
Dude nodded. "Yeah, pal. We've got a lot of work
to do today!"
Dude was right. Every one at school seemed especially
grumpy that morning. There were so many arguments
and disagreements that halfway through the day,
the Principal called the whole school together for
an assembly to find out what was going on.
"Like,
uh, man, like, um, well... Here, put these on,"
Dude whispered next to me in the auditorium. He
handed me a pair of rose-colored sunglasses.
I did what he said, and suddenly I saw why there
were so many problems at school. The glasses made
it so that I could see that practically every kid,
and most of the teachers too, had been slimed by
the meanie-kabeenies.
The Principal asked if anyone had any ideas about
how to get things back to normal at school. There
was a lot of noisy grumbling but no one raised their
hands. Except, Dude, of course.
I scrunched down in my seat, worrying what everyone
was going to say when they heard about the meanie-kabeenies.
But he didn't mention them. Instead he just looked
at everyone with a big smile for a moment. "Like,
um... you know, uh..."
I quickly assumed the flamingo-position and heard
the eloquent speech everyone else was hearing. His
Fit-In-ability shield must have been completely
turned up all the way, because with my glasses on
I could see waves of kindness just flowing out from
Dude to the whole auditorium. The slime dripping
on everyone seemed to get lighter and softer-looking.
Then Dude had the AV Department hook up a Cyberlink
to The Kindness Kids team. Man was I psyched. The
whole school was going to be blown away when The
Kindness Kids simply appeared out of thin air.
Truth
is, I was a little disappointed when instead of
materializing out of Cyberspace they just video-conferenced
us. But it was nice to see them all smiling up on
the big screen.
Dude let the Kids speak to us all. Sunanda told
us that we could get through this by going out of
our way to try to be nice to each other.
Maya asked everyone to take a deep breath, and relax.
José said that any time we felt angry we should
take a "time out" and count to ten or take a deep
breath. When we did this, Erin added, it would help
us see the situation more clearly so that we wouldn't
react in a way that we'd regret later.
Ahmed and Sol talked about 'conflict resolution'
- how we needed to listen to each other and find
ways to work out disagreements so that both sides
could be winners.
Michiko and Jamal talked about peer mediation -
how we could help others work their problems out
calmly, by listening to both sides of an argument
and helping them to find win-win solutions.
When
they were done, Dude asked us if we'd like to set
up a Kindness Kids Club at our school. All the kids
seemed interested in being part of The Kindness
Team.
Then
Dude told everyone that the same thing that had
happened in our school was happening in other schools.
And it wasn't just kids - adults in their neighborhoods
and at their jobs were feeling the same kinds of
mixed-up emotions.
"But
like, you, know, I mean, um, well, sort-of, well...
us kids can help them to work their problems out.
We can each help kindness to grow by sharing it
with one person at a time. If we all shared kindness,
it would spread like wildfire." He also suggested
we set up a web page, and share these simple tools
for getting our "mads out" on the Internet.
"We
can work it out, Dude!" someone shouted, and everyone
started clapping.
Chapter
5
Way to go, Dude!
Everyone
felt pretty good after the assembly. As we walked
back to our homeroom, I patted my pal, Dude, on the
back. "You did it, Dude. You and The Kindness Kids
saved the day!"
Dude smiled and shook his head. "I, um, you know,
like..."
We
were definitely going to have to figure out a better
way for me to understand him, but for now I pretended
I didn't mind the strange looks everyone gave me
as I did the flamingo-hop down the hall. "It's not
that simple, Johnny," Dude was saying now that I
was in the correct position. "Peace takes a lot
of work. This is a start, but it's just the beginning!
It's going to take a lot of effort by everybody.
Peace is a process - it doesn't just happen in the
twinkling of an eye."
Dude was definitely right about peace not being
that easy. Before we even made it back to homeroom,
we saw three arguments just beginning to brew. But
he was wrong about the "twinkling of an eye" part.
We made a whole lot of peace that day "in the twinkling
of an eye!"
"Told
you we've got a lot to do," Dude sighed as I could
almost feel the red-slimers squishing down the hall,
leaving a trail of angry kids. The closest set of
arguers were my friends Artie Taylor and Merle Martin.
The argument was heating up fast. Though I couldn't
see it (I'd given Dude back the rose-colored glasses),
I knew the red-slimers were oozing all over both
of them at that very moment.
"Like,
man, Quick!" Dude said. "Um, like, you know, um,
well, grab my watch." Dude adjusted the dial between
my fingers and when I looked up I realized that
time had frozen still. Everything, that is, except
for us. I let go of Dude's watch and we walked towards
Artie and Merle.
"Like,
um, you know, like you guys, like..." Dude whispered
in their ears. Then he looked at me. I knew he wanted
me to say something. I felt nervous at first, but
what the heck. I gave it a try.
"You
guys are best friends. Do you want to ruin your
friendship over something that really doesn't matter
that much?" I whispered. "Of course you don't, guys,"
I said reassuringly. "You can find a way to work
this out!"
Dude smiled and had me hold on to his watch again.
The next thing I knew, time was back to normal.
From a few feet away we watched the anger in Artie
and Merle's faces fading quickly.
"Hey,
what are we fighting for?" Artie exclaimed.
"Beats
me!" Merle answered. "Sorry, man." Then they high-fived
and headed off to class.
Wow, did I feel proud. I felt a hundred feet tall.
I could have stood there basking in the good feeling
forever. But Dude pulled me down the hall. "Great
job, Johnny, but we've got, like um, tons to do!"
He wasn't kidding. We zipped up and down the hall,
whispering peaceful thoughts and ideas into kids'
ears as they stood there frozen in time. Then Dude
adjusted his watch a little more and we REALLY zipped
faster, back and forth and upstairs and down.
Then we zipped out the front door and down the street,
whispering to frightened passers-by and angry drivers
and lazy workers and teary-eyed mothers.
Faster and faster we sped until I was quite certain
we'd covered the entire town. Maybe even the whole
world - we went so fast and whispered so much I
wasn't sure how many people's emotions we'd calmed.
Finally, just when I thought my head would explode,
we were standing back in the school hallway and
time was back to normal. Except it seemed so different
somehow. Everything looked brighter and more hopeful.
And it seemed like everybody was smiling.
I stared over at Dude. He had a big green smile
on, too. "Um, like, well, you know, like..." Tiredly
I raised my foot, tilted my head and squinted. "You
did GREAT, Johnny," he beamed, and he high-fived
me.
"I
did, didn't I," I thought. Even though I knew it
would be harder to help people calm down in real-time,
it could be done, and anyone can do it. World Peace
wasn't going to be easy, but it sure was possible
-- one person at a time. And now I knew we weren't
alone. The Kindness Kids showed us that people everywhere
were helping save the world with kindness.
I stood there smiling, but then Dude reminded me
that we had to get to class. I was so tired. "Do
you think we could speed the day up, just a little,
so school would be over and I could go home and
take a nap."
"Like,
um, you know, well... considering all that we've
been through, I suppose we could," Dude agreed.
Squinting and with one foot high in the air, I held
on to his watch. He turned the dial and I realized
I was really going to like the Fifth Grade after
all. Even if I did have to spend it looking like
a flamingo.
©
2001-2014 Robert Alan Silverstein
Illustrations © 2014 Vineet Siddhartha
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