The
GREEN DUDE
A
Kindness Kids Adventure
by
Robert Alan Silverstein
(not yet illustrated)
Chapter:
1 | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5 |
I
was almost looking forward to the Fifth Grade.
That is, until the new foreign exchange student
showed up at my house the day before school
started. The minute I laid eyes on him, I knew
this year was going to be strange. He was just
so different from your typical fifth grader
that I knew this kid was going to turn the school
upside down. You'll see what I mean.
That day I was waiting for him all morning out
on the front lawn. Mom had asked me to "keep
an eye out for Dude's bus."
Hello. Now, who names their kid Dude? I had
asked my Dad that very question when I first
learned that a foreign exchange student would
be staying at our house that year.
"Junior,
Dude probably means something else in his country,"
Dad had said. "You know you shouldn't judge
a book by its cover!"
Let me tell you, this was one case where the
cover fit the book perfectly! But I'm getting
ahead of myself.
Anyway, so the day before school, I was standing
out on the front lawn, bored out of my mind
as I tossed a baseball up into the air for the
thousandth time, when all of a sudden, I saw
something bright in the sky. It kept getting
closer and closer.
"Wouldn't
it be cool if it were a spaceship?" I laughed,
absolutely sure that nothing exciting like that
could ever happen to me. But sure enough, that's
exactly what it was!
The spaceship stopped about a hundred yards
above the tops of the trees and then a door
slid open. My eyes were glued to it and I couldn't
speak a word.
Something stepped out of the spaceship door
and began zig-zagging down through the sky right
towards my house. I had this crazy thought that
it looked like a kid riding a skateboard through
the air.
As he got closer I saw that it was! The kid
did some awesome loops and turns and spins up
above the trees and then screeched right towards
me. I jumped back and fell into the bushes.
Looking up through the branches, I saw a kid
hovering in the air about three feet above the
ground on his skateboard. He looked like a typical
kid my age, with shorts and tee-shirt and sneakers,
and a cap sitting backwards on his head. The
only difference was that he was green. This
kid was an alien!
The green alien-kid hopped down onto the grass
and pulled the skateboard out of the air. He
scrunched it up between his hands until it was
no bigger than a dime, and then he stuck it
in his pocket. "Like, Sweet! Totally radical
air space!" he laughed.
A bug was crawling on my nose and though I tried
my best not to, I sneezed.
The alien looked around with a worried expression
on his green face. Then he glanced down and
saw me in the bushes.
"Uh...
Peace, Dude?" I stuttered. I mean, what else
do you say to an alien?
The alien-kid looked at me nervously. "Uh...Er...!
Uh, hi. Like, uh, Peace, Man." He held up a
peace sign and flashed me a quivering smile.
"Like, uh, you didn't just, um, catch me on
my, you know, board, did you?" he asked.
"Uh,
yeah..." I swallowed.
The alien turned a paler-shade of green. "Oh,
Man! Bummer, Man! I, um, er, I'm going to like,
you know, get in so much trouble now, man. Like
I... I can, um, totally explain it... like..."
I didn't say anything. I couldn't, even if I'd
been able to understand anything he'd just said.
"You
see, I ... Hey, you're like, Johnny, um, Chronicles,
right?" he asked. I could see he was trying
to change the subject to throw me off. But I
was already so thrown off I just lay there with
my mouth open. At that moment I wished with
all my heart I wasn't Junior Chronicles. Maybe
if I denied it, he'd go away.
The alien looked up at the number "23" on the
front porch of our house and then down the street
to the "Oak Lane" street sign. He nodded his
head, letting me know that he knew he was at
the right place. Drats!
"Uh..."
was about all I was able to say.
"Like,
look Johnny, I've, you know, had, um, a like
totally sorta, you know, awesomely long trip...
Like I'd really like to, um, well, like put
my bag down..." the alien said, pointing to
the glowing backpack on his back. "Like, man,
can you like, you know, like give me a hand?
This thing is so like, you know, so like totally
heavy!"
"Uh,
okay... I stammered and struggled to my feet
to help him swing the backpack off his shoulder.
"WHOA!"
I gasped as the glowing backpack pulled me off
the ground. Before I knew what had happened
I was floating three feet in the air. Without
thinking very clearly I let go of the bag and
crashed to ground. Dirt went flying everywhere
as I plunked down on my stomach.
I lifted my face out of the dirt and saw the
backpack float down to Dude's outstretched hand.
"Hey, like, um, well, thanks Man!" he said.
Just then the door swung open and Mom came out
and looked at me lying face down in the dirt
behind the bushes. "Junior, what are you doing
in there... you're filthy! Oh, you must be Dude,"
she said, seeing the alien kid standing there.
She was beaming a welcome smile. "You're here.
I didn't hear the bus go by at all. Come on
in, Dude, you must be tired from your long trip."
Mom didn't seem to notice anything out of the
ordinary about this "Dude." Like his green color!
Dude looked back at me nervously. "Please don't
say anything about my coming in a spaceship,"
his look seemed to say. It was almost like he
was talking. But it made sense, unlike the words
that came out when he opened his mouth. This
alien was invading my head!
I wanted to tell my Mom. I wanted to tell everyone
that an alien had landed in my yard. Probably
to take over the planet! But nothing came out
of my mouth. I followed them both inside with
my jaw still hanging silently open.
Chapter
2
You the Man, Dude!
I'm
really not the jealous type. Honest. But when
Dude arrived, well, I suddenly found myself
feeling like I was the most jealous person in
the world. The jealousy monster just kept growing
and growing.
It really took a big bite when Muffy, our loving
family cat, turned against me. She'd been part
of the family practically since I was born.
She's always loved me the best. But when Dude
walked through the door, she greeted him with
a wet welcome lick right on his green face.
He
laughed, "Whoa! Awesome, like a canine-kinda
critter-type-thingy. You like, um, totally rock!"
Not
only couldn't the guy speak, but he couldn't
even tell the difference between a dog and a
cat! But get this -- he rubbed her head and
looked into her eyes, and he must have put some
wicked spell on her, because I blinked and although
she still looked to me like our darling kitty,
Muffy, she started acting exactly like a dog
does. And by the way everyone treated her, I
knew they all saw her as a dog, and they acted
like she'd always been that way! And from that
moment on, Muffy followed Dude everywhere. She
wouldn't even come to me when I offered her
a kitty treat. Instead she just dog-growled
at me like I was a complete stranger. Or even
worse, an alien!
I
was even jealous about my sister, Ellie's, reaction.
Ellie is "much too mature" for all my friends,
even though she's only a year-and-a-half older
than me. But that night at dinner she sat there
all google-eyed staring at Dude. She just had
to "Ahhh!" and "Oohh..." or laugh as if everything
he said was just the most surprising, intelligent
or funniest thing she'd ever heard. Hello!!!?
Even
Mom and Dad seemed to hang on his every word.
They couldn't stop asking him questions. They,
too, seemed so impressed with the things he
said. They acted like he knew more about everything
than they did. I couldn't believe it! I mean
the guy couldn't even form a complete sentence.
"This
like, you know, food-type stuff is SO totally,
um, awesome, Mrs. C..." or "Way to like um,
go, Mr. C, that thing you do, at, you know your
work-activity-kind-of-thing. It, um, totally,
you know, rocks."
The things I heard come out of his mouth must
have been totally different from the words everyone
else heard, because he had them all completely
captivated.
"Pass
the corn, please," I grumbled for the tenth
time that night at dinner. But no one even heard
me. "Like um, please, you know, like pass the
totally awesome corn-type-maze-thingy..." I
tried. Nothing! I seemed to be invisible now
that Dude had arrived.
I couldn't sleep at all that night. It wasn't
because I was nervous about starting the Fifth
Grade the next morning, either. It was because
I kept looking over through the darkness at
Dude fast asleep on the other side of MY room.
He made this little snoring sound that didn't
sound like any snoring I'd ever heard. It was
more like the buzzing of a flying saucer, if
you ask me. As if he were sending out a signal,
calling any spaceships that might happen to
be in the area. And the glowing green color
coming from his bed didn't help very much, either.
When I finally did drift off to sleep, all I
could dream about were aliens coming down to
take over the planet, all led by Dude himself,
of course.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a
start, but Dude was still sleeping peacefully.
"That's it," I promised myself. "I'm going to
find out what he's up to tomorrow morning -
even if he turns me into toast ... space toast!"
I was so tired I must have turned off my alarm
clock without realizing it, because the next
thing I knew, Mom was calling from downstairs,
"Junior, aren't you up yet?"
I had barely enough time to throw some clothes
on and wash my face before Mom yelled again,
"Junior, you're going to miss the bus!"
Dude apparently had gotten up early and made
breakfast for the family. At least that's what
Mom insisted as I rubbed the crust out of my
eyes and stared at the toast on my plate. It
was green and glowing. And it was buttered with
something slimy that kept bubbling up and bursting
in gassy clouds of grey smoke.
"Junior,
you eat that toast!" Mom demanded.
"But,
Mom!" I protested. Dude must have heard me thinking
last night, I thought as I stared at the toxic
toast. This must be some kind of radioactive
space toast - and Dude was trying to get rid
of me by nukeing me!
"John
George Chronicles, you eat that toast now!"
I closed my eyes and whispered, "so long world,"
before I took a bite. Hmm. It was good. It was
great. I gobbled it down, green slime and all.
"Now
don't forget, honey," Mom said as I licked that
delicious gook off my lips and grabbed my book
bag, "introduce Dude to your friends. It'll
be hard for him to be in a strange place and
not know anyone."
Yeah, right. If she only knew. Dude was going
to be just fine. It was going to be me who'd
be the outcast alien. That day was definitely
the worst day of my life. I hadn't seen a lot
of my friends since summer had started, and
I was looking forward to hanging out with them
again. But for some reason, no one seemed that
interested in seeing me. Not even my best friend,
Artie Taylor. "Oh, hi, Johnny. Hey, is that
Dude? Wow, he is so cool! Introduce me, okay?"
Everyone
just had to talk to Dude. And man, did he "like
talk and um, talk." Everyone thought he was
just the coolest kid ever. It seemed to me that
every time he said anything his words seemed
even more ridiculous than the last time he opened
his mouth. But somehow what everyone else heard
must have been something completely different.
Before the day was over, Dude was surely the
most popular kid in the school; I was Mr. Invisible.
Even the bus driver was so busy talking to Dude
when he got on the bus to go home that she closed
the door right in my face. Of course, Dude just
had to show off by coming to my rescue. "Like,
whoa um, female-uh-bus-vehicle, you know, manipulator-driver-type
person, your um door-closey-thingy is stuck
on that you know, Johnny-kid's um, well, outer-garment-shirty-thing..."
That's what I heard through the closed bus door.
But what everyone else must have heard to draw
a round of applause from the entire bus, well,
I have no idea. All I know is that I felt so
embarrassed walking down the aisle when she
finally opened the door again. Everyone stared
at me, as if the bus driver's blindness had
been my fault!
As I climbed up the steps onto the bus, I saw
that everyone was fighting over who would sit
next to Dude. Get this - Dude had the gall to
ask me to sit with him. Like he really meant
it. He just wanted everyone to be jealous and
mad at me. I wished I could disappear, and I
slunk down the aisle to sit alone in the last
seat on the bus. The one all the cool kids used
to sit in, back in the old days before they
all moved up front to sit near Dude.
That's how it was for weeks. Dude just got more
and more popular, even though his sentences
got more and more incoherent. He was voted Fifth
Grade Class President. Everyone dropped out
of the race when he announced that he was running.
He won 257 votes to 1. (Guess who wrote in the
one vote for E.T. - there was no way I was going
to vote for Dude, and I guess I was hoping that
someone might get the hint and phone Dude home!)
Oh, and get this. Dude nominated ME for Vice
President, knowing full well that EVERY popular
kid was going to run against me to be Dude's
running mate. I quickly withdrew my name to
avoid being even more completely humiliated
than I already was. But it was too late. Everyone
laughed at me when they passed me in the hall.
"Little baby dropped out of the race ... you're
not Vice President material, you're just Very
Pathetic... Junior VP... hah!"
"Oooh,
that Dude! I just knew that everything Dude
did was all part of some secret alien plot to
destroy me, and the rest of the world, too.
I was absolutely sure that he had put a spell
on everyone and he was going to take over the
whole planet, or something like that. I wanted
to tell him I knew all about his evil plans,
but he was always so busy, we never had a spare
second to talk about it. I kept trying every
night when the lights were off before we drifted
off to sleep, but the second he hit the pillow
he was out cold, and that eerie snoring started.
Needless to say, I got very little sleep each
night. I'm sure that's why he snored that way
- to keep me up!
I wanted to tell everyone that he was tricking
them all, but they seemed so happy around him,
I felt guilty even thinking about bursting their
bubbles. Besides, whenever there seemed to be
a chance to tell someone that he was an alien,
I felt too wiped out and tired to say anything.
Maybe he had put a spell on me, too? Probably
it was just the lack of sleep, though. There's
no way that DUDE could put a spell on me! I
was on to his tricks. But then, I was addicted
to his space toast -- I couldn't seem to start
my day without it. Maybe he was drugging me
with that slimy green delicious gooky stuff.
This is how it went, day in and day out, until
one night I had this strange dream. After that,
everything was completely different.
Chapter
3
Wassup, Dude?
It
was the strangest nightmare, let me tell you.
But the weirdest thing about it was that it seemed
more real than any dream I'd ever dreamed before!
I dreamed I saw these strange little creatures.
They were all different colors. Some were red
or green or blue or yellow, but there were lots
of them and they were slimy with a dingy glow.
And they were slithering in through my open bedroom
window! I watched in horror as they slopped across
the floor. It was so gross! Not only were they
disgustingly slimy, but after every few feet of
slithering they seemed to make squishy gassy-sounds,
which left puffy grey clouds floating in the air.
It wasn't long before I had to hold my nose -
they smelled even worse than they looked. Fortunately
the stinky-slimeys seemed to be heading to the
other side of the room. Straight for Dude's bed!
He went on snoring, in the same creepy way he
would be doing outside the dream, completely unaware
of anything. The smelly-blobs slid up the side
of his bed and slipped under his covers. "Oh,
Man!" I gasped. "Don't aliens smell anything -
how can he sleep with that awful smell all around
him!"
The next thing I knew the slimers were slithering
back down the side of Dude's bed and across the
floor towards the window. That's when I noticed
they were carrying his watch. They were so tiny
that it took about fifty of them to carry it.
I don't know why (maybe it's because in dreams
you can have more courage than you do in real
life), but I jumped up, ran across the room and
slammed the window closed.
The dingy colored slimy blobs stopped. Then they
started bouncing up and down angrily, squeaking
at me and making more of those smelly gaseous-sounds.
I backed away slightly as they slimed past me
and slid under my bedroom door. The cloud of stench
remained behind. I dashed across the room and
held my nose as tight as I could. I opened the
door with my free hand and tiptoed after them
into the hallway. I knew every creak on the stairs
so I knew I wouldn't wake everyone in the house,
but that smell was so bad I was afraid it was
going to wake everyone, even outside of the dream.
The dull glow of lights trickled down the stairs,
but I was in hot pursuit. It was gross squishing
in their slimy trail with my bare feet, but I
made myself go as fast as I could. They squirmed
across the kitchen and under the back door, but
I was right behind them, gasping and gagging for
air. I chased them down the porch steps, and just
as they wriggled onto the grass, I grabbed Dude's
watch and yanked it away from them.
That's when they got really mad. They all turned
at once and started to grow bigger and greyer
and smellier. Then one, a dingy, gooshy yellow
one, leaped up and slimed me.
"Eh-oooh!"
It oozed all over me. I could feel it seeping
through my skin. Suddenly I felt scared and I
knew that yellow slime was making me feel this
way. It must have oozed into my blood and was
gunking up my emotions with yellow-bellied fear.
I ran backwards and hid behind a tree, but they
were after me.
The squeaky, gassy, exploding sounds they made
got even louder. A festering red slimer leaped
at me, and it oozed over my hair and down my back.
As it seeped through my skin, the red ooze made
me feel angry and mad.
I stomped my feet and gritted my teeth at the
blobs that were coming closer. But before I could
do anything about my anger, a bloated blue blob
leaped at me. Its slime made me feel helpless
and hopeless. I backed up against the backyard
fence. They got closer and closer.
Then suddenly I saw Dude standing behind them.
Not just Dude, but a whole bunch of kids, too.
Like ten of them. Human kids, not aliens. At least
I hoped they weren't aliens.
Dude looked at me and then he whispered to the
other kids who were all whispering to each other.
And then they all stared at the slimy creatures.
"Uh, like, Yo, um, er, chill, Man," Dude said
softly to me. "Like um, well, like um, don't be,
you know, like afraid. I, um, er, called some,
er, like, friends. These are, the, um, er, Kindness
Kids…"
I wasn't exactly sure how this small army of kids
was going to save me from the slimers, but I suddenly
felt calmer and less afraid. Maybe Dude had passed
out some totally lethal space weapons and they
were all going to blast those blobs to smithereens.
I just knew they were going to do something totally
awesome. I could feel it.
Dude took his hands out of his pockets slowly.
"Here it comes!" I thought. "Slimers, prepare
to be blasted!"
But his hands were empty. "Like, um, well, um,
this is like uh, Sunanda," he said pointing to
one of the kids. "And um, er like this is Ahmed,
and er…uh…"
Oh my gosh. I was going to be totally slimerated
before he'd be halfway through introducing everyone.
Luckily, one of the girls, Ling, I'd find out
later, whispered into his ear, and he nodded.
Then one of the other kids, José, stepped forward.
"Peace," he said very softly and calmly.
"Kindness,"
Ling sang, stepping beside him.
"Love,"
Johnny added, slowly and comfortingly.
The slimy creatures slowed down and stopped in
their tracks, as if they were being massaged with
a relaxing back rub. I stared at them and looked
back at Dude and the kids.
They all continued to speak to the creatures in
calming voices, reminding the slimers how much
they missed their families and friends, and urged
them to go back home.
Dude spoke to the slimers too, in that painfully
awful way of speaking I just wasn't ever going
to get used to. Even his words seemed to calm
them down.
The weird thing was that I could actually see
all of the words they all spoke floating in the
air.
Actually, at the time, it didn't seem that strange
to see words floating by. You sort of expect weird
things like that to happen in dreams. The words
were like sweet little glowing lights. As they
floated across the yard, the soft glows wrapped
around the slimy blobs, making them softer and
more delicate looking. The blobs got lighter and
more transparent and they started to float. They
got lighter still, until they just drifted up
into the night sky. One by one they drifted out
of view and disappeared with a tiny, peaceful
little "swish" sound.
A stray glowing word wrapped around me as I watched,
and I suddenly felt different. I felt warm and
fuzzy. I felt light and happy. I felt good. I
wanted to dance. (And if you knew me, you'd know
that I would never, ever under any circumstances
even attempt to dance. So I must have been feeling
really good!)
More and more of the warm lights wrapped around
me, and I noticed I was floating up into the tree
branches. I looked down at Dude and The Kindness
Kids. They were all smiling. All the creepy blobs
were gone, and I felt like I didn't have a care
in the world.
Then all of a sudden the backdoor slammed open.
Looking down I saw Ellie in her pajamas, rubbing
her eyes as she looked up at me. "Oh my gosh,
Junior, you're floating in the air!"
Then she saw the Kindness Kids. "What are all
these kids doing…" she started to say but when
she saw Dude her mouth fell open and her face
turned pale as a ghost. "Junior, it's an alien!"
she gasped, unable to move.
Dude turned to me. "Um, well, Yikes, like, um,
er, that is, uh, Man, quick, you gotta, you know,
I mean, like toss me the syncronomoter-watchy-kinda
thingy, like, um, you know, fastish like, Man!"
Instinctively (because it sure wasn't in response
to what he said - I had no idea what he'd said!),
I dropped the watch down to him. Meanwhile, I
floated back down to the ground. Dude quickly
put the watch on and whispered, "It's okay, Ellie.
Everything will be alright..."
As Dude said those words, I couldn't help noticing
that they made sense. At the same time I also
noticed that for some reason I was squinting and
holding my head sideways. And for some reason
I was holding one of my feet up off the ground,
too. I stood there watching the gentle glow of
his words as they wrapped around Ellie. She rubbed
her eyes and then stared back at Dude and me and
The Kindness Kids. She rubbed her eyes again and
shook her head.
"Junior,
what are you and Dude and all these kids doing
out here?" she finally whispered in between a
yawn and a hiccup. "And why are you standing like
that, Junior? You look like a blind flamingo!"
Slowly, I lowered my foot and let my head return
to a more comfortable position.
I couldn't wait to hear how Dude would get us
out of this.
"Um,
well, like, well, we were like, you know, sort
of like, um, well, chasing away some well, bogus
critters that were out here, like you know, making
um, well, you know, like trouble," Dude said.
"And, um, these, er, uh, are like, um, my, er,
um, friends…"
"Hmm..."
my sleeping brain whispered to me. Somehow it
had noticed the connection between the flamingo-like
position I had been standing in at the time when
what Dude said had made sense.
Then Dude introduced all of the Kindness Kids.
Erin and Maya, Johnny, José, and Ling, Sol, Ahmed,
Jamal, Michiko and Sunanda. They apparently were
from all around the world and they met each week
IN cyberspace for their Kindness Kids Team meeting.
Even in a dream that sounded really strange to
me. Wonderful, but definitely unbelievable.
For some reason though, Ellie didn't think so.
Who knows what she heard under Dude's spell! "That's
cool," she said, pretty matter-of-factly. "Do
you all want to come in for some hot chocolate
or something?"
The Kids told us they had to get going. They had
just been about to end their meeting when Ahmed,
the Team's secretary, noticed Dude's urgent Instant
Message on his laptop. "We clicked the hyperlink
Dude included and were cyber-transported here…"
Ahmed said.
"Just
in time!" Michiko added.
"But
now we have to get back home," Erin sighed.
"Okay,
well, have a good trip, then," Ellie said to the
Kids.
Everyone hugged each other and then Ahmed typed
on his laptop, and whoosh… in another instant
they simply disappeared. All ten of them at once!
Ellie didn't even blink. She turned to Dude and
me and said, "You boys had better get inside.
It's late." She shivered. "And it's chilly." She
turned and went in through the door.
It was chilly. I had goosebumps all over! That's
when I realized this was no dream. I turned to
Dude. "What's going on, Dude?"
Dude sighed. "Like, I, you know, um, er, well,
Man, I... well..."
I squinted my eyes and turned my head to test
out my theory. "I, well, sorta, well..." It didn't
work. Maybe it needed the whole flamingo-package.
I raised my foot. "I guess I'd better tell you
everything," Dude said perfectly understandably.
I was right. For some reason when I squinted and
turned my head just so, and raised one foot off
the ground, I could hear Dude the way everyone
else must hear him.
"Come
on, we'd better get inside," Dude said in perfect
English. I hopped after him on one foot, my head
bent and squinting, just in case he had anything
more to say.
Chapter
4
We can work it out, Dude!
While
we sat on our beds in the dark, (me with one foot
slightly raised and squinting sideways across
the room) Dude told me the whole story. It was
a doozy of a story, let me tell you. . If I hadn't
seen his spaceship, or those glowing-globby creatures,
or ten kids who simply appeared, saved the day
and then disappeared, I never would have believed
any of it, that's for sure.
First he told me that the spaceship I had seen
was really only the Inter-galactic late-bus. It
was dropping him off at Earth for his assignment
for the after-school Kindness Kids Club, which
he had never really wanted to join in the first
place, but he had to, because he needed the extra
credit.
I raised my leg up higher and squinted harder
at his green glow in the darkness, completely
blown away by everything he was saying. A million
questions raced through my head and I began blurting
them out, in no particular order.
"Is
there really life on other planets?" I whispered.
"Is there hope for Earth? Can you read people's
minds? Can you control the future? How did the
Kindness Kids get together IN Cyberspace? Could
I ride a hyperlink into Cyberspace, too? Am I
going to pass my Spanish test tomorrow? Why do
I have to hold my body in such an uncomfortable
position to hear you the way everybody else does?
How come no one can see that you're an alien when
I can see it so clearly... "
Dude blinked as he tried to keep up with my questions.
I finally stopped and he started with the last
one, because that's the only one he could remember.
"Like,
I'm really not sure why you can see me as I really
am, Johnny," he admitted. "No one else can see
the way I really look because of the Fit-In-ability
Shield produced by my watch. I know you've felt
that I've made everyone like me so much more than
you, and like I'm really sorry, but I had to turn
it up all the way. Or else they'd, like, you know,
see like you know, me, like, as if, you know,
well..." (My leg had gotten tired, so I had to
rest it a second.) "...the way I am. And I'm pretty
pathetic. I'm really, like you know, sorry you
have to squint and hold your leg in such a like
you know, totally like uncomfortable, you know
position, to like hear me the way you know, everyone
else well, does."
Then he told me the whole sad story. About how
he was at the bottom of his class at school. About
how he had to sign up for the InterStellar Kindness
Kids Club for extra credit or he was going to
"like totally, um, you know, like flunk out of
well, you know, school." I wasn't sure which was
worse - the pain of maintaining the flamingo-position
or listening to Dude speak if I didn't hold that
pose.
"And
because I'm like such a total screw-up, they gave
me the hardest and most totally impossible location
- Earth. But that's okay, because like Man I was
doing a whole lot better in English Class than
I was in my own, you know, language-thingy. I
totally flunked that, Man, but like in English
I sort-of well, squeaked by with a you know, C--
last semester!"
It was really hard keeping my leg up. I had to
stand at the side of the bed and hold on while
I squinted and tried to keep my leg raised high.
But it was worth the pain, so I didn't have to
strain my brain as much to hear what he was saying.
Dude started to get all teary-eyed. "But like,
Man, I'm really sorry I've made you hate me. I've
tried to include you all the time, but you like
never want to have anything to do with me. I know
that's because I've hurt your feelings and you're
mad at me..."
I suddenly felt so guilty for all the things I'd
thought about Dude. "Oh, no I'm not, Dude," I
said quickly, realizing how much I liked my alien
friend.
Then I remembered those yucky little critters
that had stolen Dude's watch. Dude seemed to read
my mind. "Those are the meanie-kabeenies," he
sighed. "They're all over the Universe causing
trouble."
"Uh
… I ... er ... uh ... the ... um ... the meanie-kabeenies?"
I stammered, sounding an awful lot like Dude.
"Yeah,
there's the red-angries, and the yellow-fraidies,
and the blue-bluezies and the grey-lazies." Dude
sighed. "There's all kinds of meanie-kabeenies."
"But
I've never seen them before!" I insisted.
"Well,
that's because you're dreaming now."
"Huh?"
Now I was completely confused. "I thought we decided
I was awake?"
"It's
complicated," Dude sighed. "You're sort of awake
and dreaming at the same time. Normally you can't
see the meanie-kabeenies. No one can really see
them. But they're all around, sliming people all
the time, just the same. They make kids and adults
do all kinds of things they really don't want
to do."
"Wow!"
It was all so strange, but it seemed to explain
why people could be happy and calm one second
and then completely irrational the next. "Well,
how did you stop those slimy meanie kabeenies?"
I asked, because he and The Kindness Kids sure
did get rid of the ones that were attacking me.
"Through
Kindness," Dude said matter-of-factly. "Whenever
someone's filled with anger or jealousy or fear
or all those other mixed-up meanie-kabeenie emotions,
you can steer them back to their senses by helping
them to be calm and peaceful. The Kindness Kids
taught me all about it when I first met them,
one time when I typed in the wrong URL and accidently
logged into one of their meetings. They showed
me how you can control all the meanie-kabeenies
by performing acts of kindness, and by saying
kind words. Peace and Love - they really are powerful
forces."
I'd seen how powerful they were with my own eyes.
"Yeah,
because you're dreaming you got to see what's
happening 'behind the scenes' when you share kindness
and kind words. It's like an energy that calms
and soothes people."
I guess it was because I was dreaming that this
all sort of made sense.
"We'd
better get to sleep now, Johnny. Tomorrow's a
big day. A big cloud of slimers rained down over
the planet this evening, and tomorrow's going
to be tricky at school. We've got a lot of work
to do to get the world over this latest rash of
meanie-kabeenies."
"We...?"
I asked.
"Sure!"
Dude exclaimed. "Like I, you know, well, like
I totally need your, um, well, help, pal."
I felt really honored and proud and needed. I
fell asleep with a smile on my face. It was still
there when I woke up and saw Dude stretching on
his bed.
"Hey,
Dude," I called over, remembering to squint, tilt
my head, and raise my foot up.
"Good
morning, Johnny," Dude yawned.
"Dude,
was it real last night?"
Dude nodded. "Yeah, pal. We've got a lot of work
to do today!"
Dude was right. Every one at school seemed especially
grumpy that morning. There were so many arguments
and disagreements that halfway through the day,
the Principal called the whole school together
for an assembly to find out what was going on.
"Like,
uh, man, like, um, well... Here, put these on,"
Dude whispered next to me in the auditorium. He
handed me a pair of rose-colored sunglasses.
I did what he said, and suddenly I saw why there
were so many problems at school. The glasses made
it so that I could see that practically every
kid, and most of the teachers too, had been slimed
by the meanie-kabeenies.
The Principal asked if anyone had any ideas about
how to get things back to normal at school. There
was a lot of noisy grumbling but no one raised
their hands. Except, Dude, of course.
I scrunched down in my seat, worrying what everyone
was going to say when they heard about the meanie-kabeenies.
But he didn't mention them. Instead he just looked
at everyone with a big smile for a moment. "Like,
um... you know, uh..."
I quickly assumed the flamingo-position and heard
the eloquent speech everyone else was hearing.
His Fit-In-ability shield must have been completely
turned up all the way, because with my glasses
on I could see waves of kindness just flowing
out from Dude to the whole auditorium. The slime
dripping on everyone seemed to get lighter and
softer-looking.
Then Dude had the AV Department hook up a Cyberlink
to The Kindness Kids team. Man was I psyched.
The whole school was going to be blown away when
The Kindness Kids simply appeared out of thin
air.
Truth
is, I was a little disappointed when instead of
materializing out of Cyberspace they just video-conferenced
us. But it was nice to see them all smiling up
on the big screen.
Dude let the Kids speak to us all. Sunanda told
us that we could get through this by going out
of our way to try to be nice to each other.
Maya asked everyone to take a deep breath, and
relax.
José said that any time we felt angry we should
take a "time out" and count to ten or take a deep
breath. When we did this, Erin added, it would
help us see the situation more clearly so that
we wouldn't react in a way that we'd regret later.
Ahmed and Sol talked about 'conflict resolution'
- how we needed to listen to each other and find
ways to work out disagreements so that both sides
could be winners.
Michiko and Jamal talked about peer mediation
- how we could help others work their problems
out calmly, by listening to both sides of an argument
and helping them to find win-win solutions.
When
they were done, Dude asked us if we'd like to
set up a Kindness Kids Club at our school. All
the kids seemed interested in being part of The
Kindness Team.
Then
Dude told everyone that the same thing that had
happened in our school was happening in other
schools. And it wasn't just kids - adults in their
neighborhoods and at their jobs were feeling the
same kinds of mixed-up emotions.
"But
like, you, know, I mean, um, well, sort-of, well...
us kids can help them to work their problems out.
We can each help kindness to grow by sharing it
with one person at a time. If we all shared kindness,
it would spread like wildfire." He also suggested
we set up a web page, and share these simple tools
for getting our "mads out" on the Internet.
"We
can work it out, Dude!" someone shouted, and everyone
started clapping.
Chapter
5
Way to go, Dude!
Everyone
felt pretty good after the assembly. As we walked
back to our homeroom, I patted my pal, Dude, on
the back. "You did it, Dude. You and The Kindness
Kids saved the day!"
Dude smiled and shook his head. "I, um, you know,
like..."
We
were definitely going to have to figure out a
better way for me to understand him, but for now
I pretended I didn't mind the strange looks everyone
gave me as I did the flamingo-hop down the hall.
"It's not that simple, Johnny," Dude was saying
now that I was in the correct position. "Peace
takes a lot of work. This is a start, but it's
just the beginning! It's going to take a lot of
effort by everybody. Peace is a process - it doesn't
just happen in the twinkling of an eye."
Dude was definitely right about peace not being
that easy. Before we even made it back to homeroom,
we saw three arguments just beginning to brew.
But he was wrong about the "twinkling of an eye"
part. We made a whole lot of peace that day "in
the twinkling of an eye!"
"Told
you we've got a lot to do," Dude sighed as I could
almost feel the red-slimers squishing down the
hall, leaving a trail of angry kids. The closest
set of arguers were my friends Artie Taylor and
Merle Martin. The argument was heating up fast.
Though I couldn't see it (I'd given Dude back
the rose-colored glasses), I knew the red-slimers
were oozing all over both of them at that very
moment.
"Like,
man, Quick!" Dude said. "Um, like, you know, um,
well, grab my watch." Dude adjusted the dial between
my fingers and when I looked up I realized that
time had frozen still. Everything, that is, except
for us. I let go of Dude's watch and we walked
towards Artie and Merle.
"Like,
um, you know, like you guys, like..." Dude whispered
in their ears. Then he looked at me. I knew he
wanted me to say something. I felt nervous at
first, but what the heck. I gave it a try.
"You
guys are best friends. Do you want to ruin your
friendship over something that really doesn't
matter that much?" I whispered. "Of course you
don't, guys," I said reassuringly. "You can find
a way to work this out!"
Dude smiled and had me hold on to his watch again.
The next thing I knew, time was back to normal.
From a few feet away we watched the anger in Artie
and Merle's faces fading quickly.
"Hey,
what are we fighting for?" Artie exclaimed.
"Beats
me!" Merle answered. "Sorry, man." Then they high-fived
and headed off to class.
Wow, did I feel proud. I felt a hundred feet tall.
I could have stood there basking in the good feeling
forever. But Dude pulled me down the hall. "Great
job, Johnny, but we've got, like um, tons to do!"
He wasn't kidding. We zipped up and down the hall,
whispering peaceful thoughts and ideas into kids'
ears as they stood there frozen in time. Then
Dude adjusted his watch a little more and we REALLY
zipped faster, back and forth and upstairs and
down.
Then we zipped out the front door and down the
street, whispering to frightened passers-by and
angry drivers and lazy workers and teary-eyed
mothers.
Faster and faster we sped until I was quite certain
we'd covered the entire town. Maybe even the whole
world - we went so fast and whispered so much
I wasn't sure how many people's emotions we'd
calmed.
Finally, just when I thought my head would explode,
we were standing back in the school hallway and
time was back to normal. Except it seemed so different
somehow. Everything looked brighter and more hopeful.
And it seemed like everybody was smiling.
I stared over at Dude. He had a big green smile
on, too. "Um, like, well, you know, like..." Tiredly
I raised my foot, tilted my head and squinted.
"You did GREAT, Johnny," he beamed, and he high-fived
me.
"I
did, didn't I," I thought. Even though I knew
it would be harder to help people calm down in
real-time, it could be done, and anyone can do
it. World Peace wasn't going to be easy, but it
sure was possible -- one person at a time. And
now I knew we weren't alone. The Kindness Kids
showed us that people everywhere were helping
save the world with kindness.
I stood there smiling, but then Dude reminded
me that we had to get to class. I was so tired.
"Do you think we could speed the day up, just
a little, so school would be over and I could
go home and take a nap."
"Like,
um, you know, well... considering all that we've
been through, I suppose we could," Dude agreed.
Squinting and with one foot high in the air, I
held on to his watch. He turned the dial and I
realized I was really going to like the Fifth
Grade after all. Even if I did have to spend it
looking like a flamingo.
©
2001-2014 Robert Alan Silverstein
Illustrations © 2014 Vineet
Siddhartha
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